I haven't written....................partly because I have been busy, but mainly because after a child leaves, I sort of "shut down" for a little while. It's a process, there are tears, there's practical stuff to do, like putting baby stuff away and wash and sort, etc, and while I do that, I have to give it a space in my heart and my head. Saying goodbye sucks, saying goodbye to a baby you love with your whole being...................I can't explain.
All in all I was doing pretty good, not too many tears, keeping busy, Lili being at home because of the mono, etc. This week she started with half days, so I have been picking her up at 11.30 am.
Tonight I am not doing good though.....................just found out that sweetpea is in the hospital and has been since Tuesday...........that's all I know
and it's tearing me up......................................
I have to go to Walmart and get cupcakes, it;s Liliana's 8th birthday tomorrow. I can't believe she is turning 8................she's getting so big !!! Her pink electric scooter is charging as we speak !!! That's her big birthday present.
Off to Wallyworld, keeping busy, trying not to think too much, which is BS, all I am thinking is "please God, let my baby be okay"
I know she's not mine and never was, I just got to love her for a while, but I just want to crawl to the hospital and hold her for a little while................
God bless baby V and keep her safe.
1 comment:
Jeetje schat wat zwaar waardeloos voor je, enne moe heeft niet meer gebeld? Je had me verteld dat ze ziek was, maar in het ziekenhuis???? Kun je niet via Erika erachter komen wat er is?
Gefeliciteerd met Poppedoosje haar verjaardag en tja, bezig blijven en niet te veel aan denken zou ik willen zeggen, maar ik weet dat dat niet gaat.
Dikke kus, bel nog vandaag, mama
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