I haven't written....................partly because I have been busy, but mainly because after a child leaves, I sort of "shut down" for a little while. It's a process, there are tears, there's practical stuff to do, like putting baby stuff away and wash and sort, etc, and while I do that, I have to give it a space in my heart and my head. Saying goodbye sucks, saying goodbye to a baby you love with your whole being...................I can't explain.
All in all I was doing pretty good, not too many tears, keeping busy, Lili being at home because of the mono, etc. This week she started with half days, so I have been picking her up at 11.30 am.
Tonight I am not doing good though.....................just found out that sweetpea is in the hospital and has been since Tuesday...........that's all I know
and it's tearing me up......................................
I have to go to Walmart and get cupcakes, it;s Liliana's 8th birthday tomorrow. I can't believe she is turning 8................she's getting so big !!! Her pink electric scooter is charging as we speak !!! That's her big birthday present.
Off to Wallyworld, keeping busy, trying not to think too much, which is BS, all I am thinking is "please God, let my baby be okay"
I know she's not mine and never was, I just got to love her for a while, but I just want to crawl to the hospital and hold her for a little while................
God bless baby V and keep her safe.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
she's going home today
V's caseworker just called me, there was a hearing this afternoon and the judge is sending V home with her dad. Mom will be allowed to stay in the home, but can not be unsupervised with the baby.
Ofcourse last time I was all ready, all her clothes were clean, etc, but today is a different story.............
Max had an appointment this morning and it's a half school day today. Oh well, I packed most of her stuff and the rest will come later.
It's bittersweet, I'm happy for the parents, but I will miss my little sweetpea !
Ofcourse last time I was all ready, all her clothes were clean, etc, but today is a different story.............
Max had an appointment this morning and it's a half school day today. Oh well, I packed most of her stuff and the rest will come later.
It's bittersweet, I'm happy for the parents, but I will miss my little sweetpea !
Saturday, February 14, 2009
MONO UGH
Pediatrician called me yesterday that Lili's bloodwork came back and she tested positive for mono, which would certainly explain the tiredness !!
I just never thought about mono and 7 year olds KWIM.................isn't that for teenagers, I guess not.
Next week she'll be home with me, after that we'll try half days.
Now ofcourse I am freaking out and looking at the other kids AND myself thinking, maybe, could be, us too ???!!!!
We are NOT freaky about drinking out of eachothers cups/cand, etc. Actually whenever I open my can of dietcoke, my kids appear within 10 seconds.....................funny since whenever I call them, they NEVER come.
Hmmm, maybe I should not waste my breath anymore, just open cans of dietcoke, when I need them to come.
Anyhoo, so I am hoping that Lili is the only one with this. She'll have to be checked weekly for enlarged liver and spleen.
NEVER, EVER A DULL MOMENT in my house, I swear !!!!!!!!!!
I just never thought about mono and 7 year olds KWIM.................isn't that for teenagers, I guess not.
Next week she'll be home with me, after that we'll try half days.
Now ofcourse I am freaking out and looking at the other kids AND myself thinking, maybe, could be, us too ???!!!!
We are NOT freaky about drinking out of eachothers cups/cand, etc. Actually whenever I open my can of dietcoke, my kids appear within 10 seconds.....................funny since whenever I call them, they NEVER come.
Hmmm, maybe I should not waste my breath anymore, just open cans of dietcoke, when I need them to come.
Anyhoo, so I am hoping that Lili is the only one with this. She'll have to be checked weekly for enlarged liver and spleen.
NEVER, EVER A DULL MOMENT in my house, I swear !!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
can we talk medicine !!!!!!!!
OSCAR, bless his heart, no meds !!!
SOFIA, back on Flovent for asthma
LILIANA, Periactin
MAX, Flovent, Singulair, Trileptal, Risperdal,Prevacid, all 2x a day
SEBASTIAN, Flovent, Singulair, Trileptal,Prevacid, Zantac and tubefeeds
baby V, Prevacid
ME ???????????????? I should have a cocktail or a nice gin&tonic with Valium ! PRN (which for the non medical peeps translates to "as needed") and that could be anywhere from just at the end of the day to every hour LOL
SOFIA, back on Flovent for asthma
LILIANA, Periactin
MAX, Flovent, Singulair, Trileptal, Risperdal,Prevacid, all 2x a day
SEBASTIAN, Flovent, Singulair, Trileptal,Prevacid, Zantac and tubefeeds
baby V, Prevacid
ME ???????????????? I should have a cocktail or a nice gin&tonic with Valium ! PRN (which for the non medical peeps translates to "as needed") and that could be anywhere from just at the end of the day to every hour LOL
it's been over a week
and now there's so much stuff to post about !!
Let me start with Liliana, she had her neuro appointment last Monday. Dr. seesm to think she might have migraines, so he's putting her on meds, twice a day, preventative. We have to come back in 3 weeks, see how it's going. He RX'd Periactin, which I only know as an appetite stimulant. Max was on it for a while (worked wonders)
Sebastian had a GI appointment and actually has lost almost 2 lbs, major bummer ! The kid eats like a horse, but only drinks water, no juice and no milk/Pediasure.
So we have to do some stool test and we are back on continuous feeds at night and 2 day feeds over an hour each time. He will be wearing his backpack again................his button is sticking out, that's how skinny he's gotten.
Little miss V is doing good, drinking 4 oz every 4 hrs and sleeping through the night (YES thank you God !) Nothing new on her case, supposedly dad needed CPR training and to attend some more therapy sessions, since then he has attended zero therapy appointments, who understands.....................................
Mom flipped when I asked her for V's social security number, we could do all kinds of stuff with that number..........................when I asked her what she meant (stupid me, why did I ask)she told me I could potentially ruin her baby's credit by opening credit cards, put my utility bills in her name, go to furniture rental places, etc, etc.
I swear, I had to laugh !!!!!!!!!
Let me start with Liliana, she had her neuro appointment last Monday. Dr. seesm to think she might have migraines, so he's putting her on meds, twice a day, preventative. We have to come back in 3 weeks, see how it's going. He RX'd Periactin, which I only know as an appetite stimulant. Max was on it for a while (worked wonders)
Sebastian had a GI appointment and actually has lost almost 2 lbs, major bummer ! The kid eats like a horse, but only drinks water, no juice and no milk/Pediasure.
So we have to do some stool test and we are back on continuous feeds at night and 2 day feeds over an hour each time. He will be wearing his backpack again................his button is sticking out, that's how skinny he's gotten.
Little miss V is doing good, drinking 4 oz every 4 hrs and sleeping through the night (YES thank you God !) Nothing new on her case, supposedly dad needed CPR training and to attend some more therapy sessions, since then he has attended zero therapy appointments, who understands.....................................
Mom flipped when I asked her for V's social security number, we could do all kinds of stuff with that number..........................when I asked her what she meant (stupid me, why did I ask)she told me I could potentially ruin her baby's credit by opening credit cards, put my utility bills in her name, go to furniture rental places, etc, etc.
I swear, I had to laugh !!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
waiting
I hate waiting...................right now I am waiting on the caseworker, coming for a face to face visit. The quick in and out they have to do 2x a month. Also i'm waiting on a fax from GI, they called this morning that they want V switched to Alimentum formula.
That means that after all CW is gone, I have to go drop off V at her visit (they still don't have transportation, but I guess that's not a requisite for a baby to go home )( yes i feel bitter today)
then I will get to go back to WIC to get all this settled and the formula switched, GRRRRREAT !!! Oh and to top it of, it's half school day wednesday..............so I can go with all of them, just shoot me right now !!!!
I just called WIC and they are closed on wednesday afternoon, but I can come and get it done. (it sooooo pays to know people !!)
Lili is home today, she's reading over my shoulder and just asked me if i was just writing V's name with her initial, because I don't know how to spell her name LOL
That means that after all CW is gone, I have to go drop off V at her visit (they still don't have transportation, but I guess that's not a requisite for a baby to go home )( yes i feel bitter today)
then I will get to go back to WIC to get all this settled and the formula switched, GRRRRREAT !!! Oh and to top it of, it's half school day wednesday..............so I can go with all of them, just shoot me right now !!!!
I just called WIC and they are closed on wednesday afternoon, but I can come and get it done. (it sooooo pays to know people !!)
Lili is home today, she's reading over my shoulder and just asked me if i was just writing V's name with her initial, because I don't know how to spell her name LOL
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
busy day
Busy, busy day, started the day of with a WIC appointment, which went pretty smooth. I am so lucky with the people there, they always help me and get me in and out fast. No horror stories from me about WIC !!! They are worried about Sebastian's weight, he's at 32 lbs now, not gaining, plus a week ago he had these big globs of slime in his diaper, like jello. I called GI, but they kinda blew me off, with a "it's probably a cold"
Nutritionist at WIC is concerned it might be fat, which would explain why he's not gaining weight. He eats like a horse !!! So we're pushing for an appointment before mid March (when his next check up is)
From WIC we went to therapy for V, she did great, neither parent was there, supposedly they were doing their CPR class.................anyhoo, it was nice and relaxed. I had Lili with me, she came home yesterday from school with headaches again, fell asleep the moment she laid down. This has been going on for months.
Originally I thought it was her vision, so we took her back to opthalmology, 6 mos after her last new glasses and she had indeed gotten a lot worse. DR was not concerned, said it was common in kids that grow fast. New glasses, problem solved............................................NOT.
So after therapy, off to doc F we go, she had been okay in the morning, but by the time we got to doc F, Lili was crying that her head hurted again. They gave her Motrin and Tylenol with codeine..............and a referral for neuro. Doc F is worried, headaches with worsening vision is not a good thing. Monday is our neuro appointment. She also had bloodwork done, DRAMA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG
Can I just say that the internet is not always a good thing..................specifically googling headaches with worsening vision..................................I have forbidden myslef to look up anything anymore....scary stuff.
Finally spoke to V's caseworker, told her all that was going on, she in turn filled me in on what happened at court. They want dad to do CPR AND more appointments, than they will consider placement..........................................
While at doc F, she had just gotten the results for V's stool samples and they were positive for blood. Waiting to hear from GI what they want to do now. Also have a referral for a PT eval, she has her head to one side constantly and her head is too "wobbly" she's just all over the place. Speech noticed it (where she goes for oral motor therapy) and doc F agreed.
I am dreading telling mom, somehow she'll question it being my fault.............
Maybe I need to tell her..........repeat after me.................
THE THINGS MY CHILD IS DEALING WITH NOW IS BECAUSE I COULD NOT/WOULD NOT STOP DOING CRACK WHILE I WAS PREGNANT
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Nutritionist at WIC is concerned it might be fat, which would explain why he's not gaining weight. He eats like a horse !!! So we're pushing for an appointment before mid March (when his next check up is)
From WIC we went to therapy for V, she did great, neither parent was there, supposedly they were doing their CPR class.................anyhoo, it was nice and relaxed. I had Lili with me, she came home yesterday from school with headaches again, fell asleep the moment she laid down. This has been going on for months.
Originally I thought it was her vision, so we took her back to opthalmology, 6 mos after her last new glasses and she had indeed gotten a lot worse. DR was not concerned, said it was common in kids that grow fast. New glasses, problem solved............................................NOT.
So after therapy, off to doc F we go, she had been okay in the morning, but by the time we got to doc F, Lili was crying that her head hurted again. They gave her Motrin and Tylenol with codeine..............and a referral for neuro. Doc F is worried, headaches with worsening vision is not a good thing. Monday is our neuro appointment. She also had bloodwork done, DRAMA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG
Can I just say that the internet is not always a good thing..................specifically googling headaches with worsening vision..................................I have forbidden myslef to look up anything anymore....scary stuff.
Finally spoke to V's caseworker, told her all that was going on, she in turn filled me in on what happened at court. They want dad to do CPR AND more appointments, than they will consider placement..........................................
While at doc F, she had just gotten the results for V's stool samples and they were positive for blood. Waiting to hear from GI what they want to do now. Also have a referral for a PT eval, she has her head to one side constantly and her head is too "wobbly" she's just all over the place. Speech noticed it (where she goes for oral motor therapy) and doc F agreed.
I am dreading telling mom, somehow she'll question it being my fault.............
Maybe I need to tell her..........repeat after me.................
THE THINGS MY CHILD IS DEALING WITH NOW IS BECAUSE I COULD NOT/WOULD NOT STOP DOING CRACK WHILE I WAS PREGNANT
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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